Averse, but aching,
believe me: I would do anything for
closeness. I watch
dawn rust against the horizon,
exhausted in the cab home
from another night wasted on touch.
Graceless,
how I return to this place of desperation.
I’m not really here studying the skyline,
July morning that bruises overhead. I am
kissing a man I barely know,
leaning against him in bed. We
met at the bar and his arms feel like safety.
Neither of us sleeps in the humid room.
Over and over, I go to the window,
peek out through the slats, wait for morning.
Quietly pacing to burn away the hours,
reaching for him across
sweat-soaked sheets.
This touch is temporary, will only last
until morning. I will leave behind
viselike heat, stand outside the Airbnb
wondering why closeness rarely lasts. I’ll
x out my desire in blue pen, watch the ink evaporate.
Yes: I will return here, just as lost, just as
zealous as before.

Published September 15, 2024

Ben Togut is a poet and freelance writer based in New York City. His recent work is published or forthcoming in Beloit Poetry Journal, The Cortland Review, and elsewhere. He is a graduate of Wesleyan University.

Keiran Brennan Hinton (b. 1992, Toronto) lives and works in Toronto and Elgin, Ontario. Across landscapes, still lifes, and domestic scenes, Brennan Hinton’s practice focuses on formal painting processes, the sustained act of observation, reflections of domestic intimacy, and the plein-air discipline. Witnessing beauty in the mundane, he paints intuitively in response to the environments that surround him, seeing beauty not as superfluous, but rather integral to the act of observation. He received his BFA from Pratt Institute in 2014 and his MFA from Yale University in 2016. Past international solo shows of Brennan Hinton’s work include exhibitions at Charles Moffett, New York, NY (2023 and 2021); MAKI Gallery, Tokyo, Japan (2022); Thomas Fuchs Gallery, Stuttgart, Germany (2021); Michael Gibson Gallery, London, Ontario (2020); and Francesco Pantaleone Gallery, Palermo, Italy (2019) among others. His paintings have been featured in institutional exhibitions at the Art Gallery of Ontario, Toronto, Ontario; James Castle House, Boise, Idaho; and Katonah Museum of Art, Westchester, NY. His newest paintings, inspired by time spent in Innisfree Garden in Millbrook, NY, were presented by Charles Moffett at The Armory Show 2024.