It bothers me that you only wore white – 
pure, the way they depicted you. 

Invisibilized under feminine rivers – 
Ganga, where they burnt the corpses 
then brought the ashes for a good 
afterlife. Yamuna, who gave us water to drink – 

or you were alone in the jungles 
with your song. Art-woman, weirdo. 

Why weren’t you allowed the pleasure 
of carnality? Was it him you did not desire, 
his cock, I mean, or was it the suffering 
he came attached with? Praying at his feet. 

They kept the other stories from us. 
How you said no – the hunk of your refusal. 
What every girl, pure, was raised to desire. 

What did you desire? 
Unlike Ganga and Yamuna, you seemed to have 
no role. In you, my grandmothers drowned 
who they could be, but young, or foolish, 
didn’t know about choice.

My Dadi with her palms together 
teaching me to chant Saraswati Namastubhyam. 
My Nani whispering the horoscopes – 
her daughter too will settle.

What happened to her? I asked, fifteen, 
in the boat bobbing at the tip 
of the two rivers, where you, the third
once lived, aware of blood and beating. 

Useless, my father called me. 
Listen, I too tortured my barbies in the sun. 
Ran my nails along their nipples. Left them to the night 
as punishment. When morning broke,

I pleasured. Dressed them, fed them.

Published May 11, 2025

Kuhu Joshi is the author of My Body Didn't Come Before Me (Speaking Tiger, 2023). Her work has been published in POETRY, Four Way Review, Best New Poets, Rattle, Memorious, SWWIM, and other literary magazines. She has received support from the Academy of American Poets, Napa Valley Writers Conference, and Vermont Studio Center. Her second collection was a finalist for the Black Lawrence Press Immigrant Writing Series and Texas Tech University Press's Walt McDonald Prize. Her poems have been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and Best New Poets on multiple occasions. She currently teaches creative writing and composition as an adjunct professor at Pace University and LaGuardia Community College. She is also a plant mom, abstract artist, and yogi. http://www.kuhujoshi.com

Madhurima Ganguly was born and raised in Indian, Kolkata 1983. She obtained her B.F.A (2007) and M.F.A (2009) from Rabindra Bharati University, India specializing in sculpture. In 2011, she moved to
the United States and since then has been showing her work in various prestigious shows around USA and in India. She had a solo show at the Kerrytown Concert House in Ann Arbor, Michigan (2018). In the year 2019 and 2022, she had solo shows at River House Arts Gallery in Toledo, Ohio. She is a visual art practitioner and art educator. She is currently represented by River House Art Gallery, Toledo, Ohio and actively shows her works through New York Pen and Brush Gallery. www.madhurimaganguly.com