mami & papi tell us to take off our swimsuit tops
to stop being so american
twin & i hug our chests

our apartment in barcelona is full of shrimp & donuts & coltrane
roberto at summer camp sits next to twin on the bus
he talks small english

he breaks my headband
because he loves my twin he buys me five new headbands
i get a black eye playing pool cardinals
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at the waterpark
us & the boys are tiny torsoscardinals sticks for legscardinals i run fast but twin is faster
we eat ice creamcardinals wear gogglescardinals our hair in double buns

franchie is a real caballerocardinals a lover boycardinals twin’s future husband
carlos is our cousincardinals he slaps twin in the face when she wins the soccer game
our fathers curse each other out for the next half hour

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after all the matriarchs in our family died i thought
all of spain was supposed to be my throne
twin & i have stolen all the crucifix necklaces preparing
for my eventual coronation
i know who is the first to be beheaded
twin has stitched endless amounts of velvet to my back
we’ve spent hours considering los campesinos
i rehearse my two phrases for the court
PUTA MADRE & NO. NO. NO.
twin has searched all of spain for my future king
she says her stick legs hurt
he still does not exist
& i respond PUTA MADRE. NO. NO. NO.
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tía finacardinals abuelitaoof tía fina
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emma is the goat who lives on top of rafa’s house
palomina is the mutt who keeps giving me fleas
i will not stop petting them cardinals
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abuelita
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tía nona
tía dochi
tía fina
abuelita

you all are tough bread left out overnight
a side of strawberry jam
you pull my teeth out

when i tear away at the dough of you
i love your catholic ways & frizzy hairs
i love your hands washing my clothes
your fingerprints all over me

the bath water is too cold in early morning
twin & i huddle together shivering
papi says get in & get out that’s the trick

mami says go out with the boys & make sure you dress warm
franchie walks us across town
at the beach old men splash water onto mami’s ankles
papi throws me into the deep end of the pool so i can learn to swim
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